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Writer's pictureGaila Kline-Hobson

Doubts

I love sunsets. I love the expanse of magnificent colors just before the lights go out. I love the silhouettes that emerge as the sun sinks, when different colors and details are blotted out, when everything is stripped to the basic image of what it is. I love the unifying effect sunsets have on people; admiring sunsets is something humankind has in common. Everyone loves a good sunset.


If a sunset could talk, think about what it might say to us: “You know the routine. REMEMBER the lights are going out. It will be dark soon. Please, REMEMBER the beauty that is here in your life right now. REMEMBER that it will not stay dark forever, the sun will rise again.”


Most of us can think of a time when the sun set on our faith. The light went out, making it hard to remember and process things. Doubt lurked in the shadows. How could God let this happen? What could I have done differently so I wouldn’t be in this situation? What if…?


I’ve decided that doubt plays an important role in the evolution of a believer. Doubt can lead to disbelief, or it can lead to deeper faith. Deep faith beckons from the other side of agonizing doubt. Doubting your relationship with God can make it more alive, but also vulnerable. Doubt doesn't have to be the end of the story; it can be the suspense within it. Doubt itself isn’t how faith ends, but how genuine trust begins. V. Raymond Edman said, “Never doubt in the dark what God told you in the light.”

I understand how dark it can get. I know how difficult it is to remember in the dark. Darkness is disorienting, but turning the lights on too quickly is also disorienting. It’s true that you should “never doubt in the dark what God told you in the light,” but the advice shouldn’t stop there. When the lights go out, when you find yourself doubting everything you thought you knew, when you question your relationship with God, know that you don’t have to slog through the dark alone. Don’t think you can rush through it either.


I love sunrises, too. Think about the dawning of a new day. Sunrises are slow. God eases us into each day, bringing us the light with spreading colors painted across the sky. The bright hues add depth and details to everything. Every new day provides opportunities to strengthen faith and service, to add depth and details to our lives.


Doubt can cast darkness over anyone. Learn how to harness its power. Slowly. Be grateful for patient partners and friends. People that don’t burst in the room and flip on the light. People who will sit beside you in the gloominess and light a candle.


Find someone who will help you remember what God told you. Be a partner or friend who helps someone else remember. Be patient. Be gentle. Be kind. Don’t rush things.


Be someone’s sunrise.


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